I wrote it in March of 2004:
I am called
Yet I cannot follow
I am chastised
Yet I cannot obey
The fear has kept me well
I have imprisoned myself
With the fear of your confrontation
Till there is no need for your threat
For the worst punishment
Is continued reason for the fear
Yet a day will come
Dare I say it has already
A day when I realize
That I am not afraid anymore
Only angry
Was it someone you cared about?
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Yes, it was. It’s a poem about the transition of feelings when a couple fight. At first you are horrified that you’ve made the other person unhappy. As time goes on, you walk on eggshells to avoid an argument. Finally, you become resentful of the arguments, and realize that you feel no more compassion for that person or the relationship. You are either angry, or worse, apathetic.
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Those who have the deepest inroads into our lives leave the biggest wounds and the are the hardest to heal.
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